Take, for example, a disagreement between spouses about spending money on entertainment. There may be no fundamental effect on the marriage if both spouses disagree and decide to compromise at a halfway point between their two positions. But there may be a significant effect on the marriage if one spouse’s reservations or concerns are completely sacrificed for the others’ preference.
The ideal of Christian marriage in many circles emphasizes a kind of submission where unanimity is created at the expense of communication, compromise and consideration. Instead, the primary value is the sacrifice of one preference for another. In fact, for some persons, a kind of continual sacrifice of themselves, their insights, their preferences and their concerns is considered a sign of “submission as unto the Lord.”
“Submission” is a foundational aspect of Christian marriage, but it is foolish to assume that “submission” and “unanimity in all things” are identical values, or that any version of unity is bearing witness to unity in Christ and in love.
Thinking About the Spiritually Divided Marriage by Michael Spencer on internetmonk.com
Check it out. Lots of good stuff in this post. Geared mostly towards Catholics-Protestants but good for other types of “spiritually divided marriages” as well.
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