Great story, kbartha! I have a friend who wrote this to me recently.

“At our home church the other night one of the young men in our group got out his guitar to lead worship. [My four and a half year old daughter] kept touching the guitar and wanted to play it. She got a ukelele from her uncle two years ago for Christmas. A real one, not a toy. So I went to get it down for her to play that. She sat on the couch and strummed it while we all sang. At some point we were praying during the worship time, it was quiet, no singing or strumming. She went upstairs so she could make noise. She sat on the top of the stairs strumming her ukulele and sang spontaneously to God. She sang a song about God being holy and how she would praise him before she went to bed and when the sun came up in the morning. I was blown away. Everyone was quiet to listen to her. *She* led *us* in worship.”

I think a larger question y’all are talking around is what form of being church together is best for faith formation in children?

Is it the traditional European model, with people gathered in a building in a more formal setting, or is it in a living room in someone’s home?

Father Kevin

Someone always volunteered to hang with the kids in the basement, pillow fights, teaching moments, whatever – just hanging with kids.

My favorite memory of that house church experience was when my four year old daughter came upstairs and this girl is crying in the middle of our living room, lying on her face on the floor and people all around praying over her – my daughter goes up to her bedroom, gets her favorite blanket and brings it in the living room, lays it over this sobbing young woman. My little girl placed herself over this girl, wrapping her little arms around a crying woman… and she started praying!

The whole room was speechless. The little ones lead us all the time. Little Samuel, “Speak Lord for your servant is listening!” They get it so much more than we do. We have to be careful talking functional or about effeciency… the organic ebb and flow of life is so random at times and full of awful interuptions.

I think it is key for adults to examine their attitudes towards children. We have been taught culture-wide for the last about 100 years since institutional public school started that people are supposed to be separated by ages. That it’s best. Why do we think that? Have the last 100 years shown that is actually the case? It’s much more likely that both time together and time apart are needed, but we’ve begun to assume time apart is more normal.

Also how many times do we use a superior attitude in dealing with children? As a parent I struggle daily against this superior attitude towards my children. God has the most right to act superior and he choose to humble himself and become a servant towards those so much more lowly than him. How much more we, who are much closer to our children than to God, are to have the same attitude with them. How many times do I withhold letting them know how I’m struggling, how many times do I not ask them to pray for me, because in one sense withholding that makes me feel better about myself: “It’s an adult thing.” It takes true humility to say to a child, “I was grumpy today because I didn’t get my way. I’m hurting because of sin and because I’m not trusting God with our finances. Can we pray together?” I admit I fail frequently at this.

So to sum up, the praxis question about what to do when and how much separation children and adults should have in a believing community does not seem nearly so important as rooting out the sins we have committed towards children in our superior attitudes and assumptions based on culture. If the emerging church stands for authentic community then it has to also include its children.

Bonhoeffer said:
In a Christian community everything depends upon whether each
individual is an indispensable link in a chain. Only when even
the smallest link is securely interlocked is the chain unbreakable…

Every Christian community must realize that not only do the
weak need the strong, but also the strong cannot exist without
the weak. The elimination of the weak is the death of fellowship.

Children are welcome to participate in cells, but it is at the discretion of the parents and cell leader.

Some examples:

The cell that my wife is a part of meets in our home. My 16 month old daughter plops herself down in the middle of their circle, sometimes playing, sometimes curling up on someone’s lap, sometimes walking from person to person offering kisses or toys. If she becomes a distraction, my wife takes her to the other room and she is usually put to bed before they spend any extended time in prayer. I’ve asked those in this cell how they feel about her doing her thing…they all talk about it’s value…learing to listen to each other, learing to be sensitive, recognizing what God is teaching them through a 16 month old, having a hand in raising our daughter.

The cell that I’m a part of has 3 older children (over 7). They join us in the beginning as we eat and talk – they add lively conversation – and we consider them a part of our cell. Most of time, as we focus in on Jesus and each other, they head to their rooms to play and get ready for bed (occasionally the oldest will join us).

There is also a “children’s cell” that meets during our weekly public meeting (worship, teaching, interaction, praying). It is not intended to segregate the children from the adults (though presently it does meet when the adults are together), but this cell takes school age children and incorporates them into our cell structure and mission.

Also, during public meeting, we have a nursury for babies and toddlers, but many babies and toddlers join mom and dad in the meeting (distraction is expected and welcomed because they are a part of our community).

In fact, we recently had a public meeting where there was no nursury or children’s cell – kids were given kazoos and told to blow them when they felt the need and allowed to wander our space freely. More than a distraction, it was a beautiful time of worship and community caring as children made noise and everyone looked out for everyone else’s kids.

In every instance, the challenges of raising children are tackled as we actively do it together (not a we talk about how hard it it to do it alone).