Haggard’s book, Primary Purpose, was very influential on my early ministry. He presented a revolutionary (though it should not have been) idea of working with other types of Christians in a community to pray together, serve together, and plan together for furthering the Kingdom of God in the local community they shared. Through his book, he was instrumental in shaping my thoughts on the body of Christ as one unit regardless of our differing beliefs on the particulars of the faith.
I don’t know all that happened, and I haven’t read through all of the details of his confessions to date. I know he’s now confessed and apologized for his acts including the lies and deception to cover up what he’d done. As someone painfully aware of my own humanity, my heart goes out to Ted Haggard and his family in this extremely difficult period of his life.
I wasn’t going to write about Haggard for several reasons, and honestly, I’m not sure why I’m changing my mind. I didn’t want to jump on the popular sin-of-the-moment bandwagon. I didn’t want to speak about a situation that honestly, I know very little about (what do you honestly know from the media??). I didn’t want to be yet another pointing out the dangers of aligning too closely with the religious right. And, I didn’t want to say anything that would be damaging to Haggard and his family, the church he pastored, or others in the Christian community. I didn’t want to let something stupid fly out of my mouth like Mark Driscoll’s comment on pastor’s wives (even if he knew Mrs. Haggard personally, which his comments showed he did not, the timing was despicable).
So why am I writing now? I just feel the need to. Maybe I’m too tired and my common sense isn’t working. I’m hoping I actually have something decent to say.
I was hurt by Haggard’s deception. Crazy. A man I don’t know hurt me just because he wrote a book that positively influenced my vision of the Kingdom of God for the local community. It’s not the first time someone’s written a great book and then had his sin come out publically (Gordon MacDonald, anyone?).
I’ll be the first to say it didn’t shake my faith. I’m screwed up enough on my own to know that someone sinning isn’t reason for me to question God. I think it hurt mostly because I’m a pretty egocentric creature, and his sinning hit close to home (not in the way you’re thinking).
I remember the days of being a pastor at an Assemblies of God church where my actions had to align with their values whether biblical, righteous, or whatever spiritual term you want to throw out there. There were two times I can think of where I was very close to meeting a woman I had chatted with on the internet, and I doubt the encounter would’ve ended after a nice conversation. Haggard’s situation hurt because I know that though our issues were different, I was on the same tracks going the same direction. I think it hurt because a part of me desperately wants to believe I was a better person than I actually was in those days. A part of me wants to believe I’m a better person than I actually am right now, too.
Watching the video of Haggard lying before it came out there were tapes and other evidence, it was easy for me to get angry at the man. He even tried to shift it off as a political stunt (in a way, it was timed before the election, but he made it sound like there was no truth to it and he was just a victim of some left-wing tactic to influence the election). But I quickly started wondering if you take something bad I had done that I didn’t want others to know about and questioned me on TV, what would I say? Would I say, “Oh, you got me. I sinned. I’m going to have to deal with that.” Or would I lie until I was dead in the water? I’d like to say I’d tell the truth. I don’t know that I would.
In my life, I’ve seen God make many bad, evil things good. Now, I hope that God will use this situation with Haggard to shed light on our own lives. You don’t have to have the same issues as he to wonder what you’d do if your deepest darkest secrets came out in the open. How would you respond? What would you do?
And more importantly, how do you make it so these things are less and less likely to occur in your life? These are all questions we should be diligently seeking the answers to in light of Ted Haggard’s highly publicized personal failures. I’m seeking those answers myself.
Links (updated occasionally 
):
What was it that Driscoll said about pastor’s wives that was “stupid”? He must have edited his post because I didn’t see it. The only thing I saw was the statement that most pastors he knows do not have “satisfying, free, sexual conversations and liberties with their wives,” and that some pastor’s wives let themselves go. I can’t speak for the pastors he knows, but it does seem that some pastor’s wives (and women in general) have let themselves go.
Was there something else he said? Or are you disputing what he says about the pastors he knows?
Larry
November 6th, 2006
great post, alan. and this one is rating highly on ask.com
you might want to consider updating it as the story unveils and adding a few more links.
i also was impacted by primary purpose. thanks for the story from your heart about Ted.
andrew (tall skinny kiwi)
November 6th, 2006
Larry -
Perhaps I was influenced by others who took the same offense I did. When you are high profile, I think you need to be careful making general comments (which may or may not be true) which will be taken as directed at particular women. I feel most people would feel Driscoll’s comments were directed at Gayle Haggard. We have no idea if she “let herself go” in her marriage or not. Driscoll himself knew his material was sensitive, as he wrote it in his post.
Andrew -
Thanks for the comment. I’ll monitor traffic on this post, and if I have any good links on this, I’ll add them to the post.
Alan
November 6th, 2006
Hi Alan,
Well said. I’ve been at a conference for 4 days and didn’t get a chance to catch the news, although I did hear the buzz. You thoughts are well thought out and appreciated.
David
November 6th, 2006
Thanks Alan,
I saw his comments before I saw any response to them from anyone, and it never crossed my mind that he was referring to anyone in particular. Of course, having heard him speak on the general topic before, I had a different context to place his comments in.
I found it hard to imagine that so many people took offense.
Larry
November 7th, 2006
This situation has had the ability to weigh us all down and shift our focus. Yes it has hurt us, however, why are we so surprised and shattered. It is because we know that we are capable of doing the same. Everyday temptation confronts us. We have to make choices and often it feels good to make the wrong choice. Is Ted any different from us ? No, in fact his vocation and calling is a lonely and often isolated one. Was this just an escape for him? Hey. he has feelings too, and sexual ones. That is difficult for us to accept because we have him on a pedestal as an example to us all. Rightfully so, but the poor guy and his family must be hurting so much now. May God restore you our brother, and may you find peace in the storm.
Gary Symonds
November 7th, 2006