A few years ago, I was introduced to a concept about the “shadow side” of human personalities. To oversimplify it, we all have natural activities that we gravitate towards, and if we don’t recognize the “shadow side” … the part nurtured by activities we may actually put effort into avoiding… will grow into glaring flaws.
There was a lot about the concept I loved, and a lot that was very hard to deal with (though it still resonated with me). I loved the fact that most people who gravitate towards regiment and discipline dominate the voices in the spiritual growth community. People who exalt the quiet time are often disciplined introverts… In truth, they need to develop some spontaneity in their worship, prayer, meditation instead of their fixed “quiet time” or chapter a day reading habits. If they don’t, they may find their faith lacking intimacy with God (ironic, since the quiet time is supposed to be all about resting in God’s presence) among other things.
It made me feel good to realize I wasn’t a terrible person because I didn’t gravitate towards the regimented structured disciplines so often advocated as absolutes for spiritual growth. The habits I had were needed by the giant voices of common opinion in the church world. Of course, this truth also meant that the voices are especially accurate for me! If I don’t nurture my shadow side by having some form of regularity in spiritual disciplines, I will have a totally different set of flaws develop.
It might sound formulaic, but I’m a believer. I read Robert Mulholland’s Invitation to a Journey, and he actually charted out based on your Myers-Briggs test what habits you would most likely gravitate towards and what you would tend to avoid. Then there was a chart which showed the most common negative effects of failing to nurture your “shadow side.” Many of them nailed me.
So I’m not into charts and graphs normally (in fact they probably fit into my shadow side), but I really see some wisdom in this concept. For holistic growth to occur, we need to make sure we aren’t just doing what we enjoy or naturally do any way, but we need to engage in some disciplines that are uncomfortable, maybe even unnatural for us. If we don’t, we will pay the price later.
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